The Differences Between Self - Love & Selfish Plus Affirmations for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day Can Still Be for Everyone

Whether or not you're celebrating Valentine's Day with a partner, you can still take some time to self - reflect and practice self - love. You can start by leveraging the power of affirmations and self - care which can lead to an improved quality of life. 

But is Self - Love Selfish?

Have you ever been called selfish for choosing yourself and practicing self - care or self - love? Some people may associate your desire for self - love with you being selfish. This might make you feel like if you take time for yourself, then other people or situations are missing out - but the reality is this isn't true. Let's break this down further by discussing the differences between selfishness and self - love. 

Selfish can be defined as "(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure" and can be characterized as:

  • a lack of social maturity with little care or concern for the needs of others
  • lack of thought and/or consideration creates conflict between others and tends to do harm
  • only viewing life from their perspective and only think about how situations or people benefits their own well - being 
  • having a personality that may be narcissistic, volatile, unable to receive criticism, shallow, manipulative, indifferent, scarcity mindset, or display love that is conditional
  • prioritizing their own thoughts, needs, and feelings at the expense of others

Notice how with the characterization of selfish the common theme is the excessive concern with themselves, their self - interest and the lack of care, concern, or empathy towards others. This is what makes this term very different from self - love.

Self - love, on the other hand, is defined as "regard for one's own well - being and happiness" and can be characterized as: 

  • seeking a higher purpose instead of just selfish gain
  • being confident, but not overly proud of boastful
  • building self - esteem and teaching yourself to love more fully
  • creating healthy boundaries while respecting others' boundaries, while expecting them respect yours also
  • having regard for your needs, while being considerate of others
  • selflessly giving and considering others who may be in need as well
  • empathetic and thinks of others
  • not drawing attention to oneself purposefully or to cater to the ego
  • self - healing to be able to show up as the best version of yourself for others
  • being open with yourself which in turn, allows you to be open with others
  • the embodiment of awareness of self and others

Self - love emphasizes care and concern for others, by way of giving others the best version of you, which could mean taking the necessary time for yourself to refill and replenish yourself so you can pour onto others. A quote by Eleanor Brownn summarizes this as "Self - care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel."

What are Affirmations?

Affirmations are phrases that are meant to motivate, inspire, and encourage you that are repeated in order to imprint on your subconscious mind and thus, positively influence you to take action. With serious intention, over time, these positive statements can have a profound effect on your life, mindset, and overall happiness. 

It's important to keep these phrases in the present tense (i.e. I am, I have, etc.) which helps your subconscious to start believing you have these things now, not in the future. When reciting the affirmations, be sure to be in a positive, energetic, and intentional state; it can also help to practice visualizations while repeating your affirmations to help "set the mood" so you're energetically in the right state of mind.

It's okay if it feels strange at first to speak in the present tense, and initially, your conscious brain might tell you that you don't have, feel, or think these things, and cause you to feel doubtful. In order to overcome this, consistency is key - continue to intentionally repeat these affirmations daily, whether written or spoken (or both) - that is how it will imprint to your subconscious and become a normal thought and feeling in your conscious brain. 

Here 6 affirmations to get you started on your self - love journey. Begin by repeating these daily:

1. I am confident in my own skin. 

2. I attract unlimited abundance and opportunity into my life. 

3. I love myself along every step of my journey. 

4. I choose to set boundaries when necessary. 

5. I am worthy and add value to the universe. 

6. I am committed to taking good care of my health. 

Self - Care is Self - Love

You can show yourself love by practicing self - care. Self - care can manifest itself in many different forms - for more ideas, check out our article on "Self - Care Sunday Ideas for Busy Moms". 

valentine's day self love affirmations




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